How We Gaslight Ourselves
In this episode of heartbeat, Dr. Brooke Stuart dives into a discussion on how we gaslight ourselves. Owning your experiences frees them to work for you and allows you to shift the dial and change them. Here, it is what it is, and then, it can be what you make it.
- To Gaslight: According to the American Psychological Association, to gaslight someone means to manipulate another person into doubting their own perceptions, experiences or understanding of events.
- Chicken & The Egg: It’s hard to identify when others are gaslighting you if you are constantly gaslighting yourself and vice versa. Gaslighting blocks the conversation from going deeper and ofter comes about as a way to fit in, keep the peace and delay the inevitable changes that could evoke reaction and judgment, create rifts and also, reorganize your life experience in a way that is beneficial for all involved.
- Tell The Truth: The truth will set you free if you have the courage to look at and listen to it in order to see and hear what is beyond what meets the eye. This is where we can access the material and the building blocks to create new realities with. If we refuse to acknowledge and embrace the truth, it is impossible to change our lives for the better. Without the truth, we enter into the type of insecurity that is like walking on a house of cards. Telling the truth requires the receptivity of and the choice to seek it. This commitment as a through-line allows us to get there continuously as we figure it out and allow others to as well.
- Building Blocks: Acknowledging and embracing the truth takes an immense amount of faith and confidence- faith that we can handle it and the confidence to follow what the map that has yet to reveal. Without the truth, we enter into a superficial standstill where we hurt ourselves and the people we love along the way. It may seem like we are keeping it together and maintaining the status quo but really the resistance to truth inhibits growth as pain mounts building barriers and walls instead of the beautiful reality that is always available.
- Left And Right: As we create a container of safety that allows for a gentle response to the unstructured truths and radical realizations that are a natural part of life, we have the opportunity to increasingly access our power of choice. Here, we don’t have to fear the left lane when we know that we can go right- and in this, we build increased structure as we stand tall with presence and exercise our ability to explore and drive our lives in the direction we want to go.
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