Within my practice, space + grace is a concept that I introduce, emphasize and circle back around to time and time again. When engaged in this kind of healing process, it is of vital importance to give ourselves the space to process and the grace to learn and grow through our experiences, especially the ones we aren’t particularly proud of.

In this article, I seek to relay a new, freeing way to enter into and interact with the healing process, one that can assist you in releasing the judgment, guilt, shame and myriad of other weighted patterns that create distress, prevent change and inhibit health within our bodies, minds and lives as a whole.

Division, Identity & How We Get Caught Up

We can be so hard on ourselves sometimes- so judgmental, critical, and downright brutal. We often go here, into these cycles, in hopes that they will incentivize change or as a protective mechanism- because on some level, we feel that if we are the hardest on ourselves, no one will be able to be harder on us.

The problem with this approach is that it is divisive, and when we disconnect in this way, we cannot connect with, look at and learn from our experiences. So instead, we stifle our power, as we opt out of the moment and get caught up in patterns that drive us away from the solutions we desire and the lessons that will set us free.

Rather than giving ourselves the space to view and the grace to embrace our humanity, we tie our identity into our choices and in doing so, judge not only our choices but ourselves. As I’ve mentioned, we are not our thoughts, feelings, choices, physiology or life experiences- we are the power behind them all. Without us, they would not exist.

By understanding who we are, we are able to untangle our identity and create more space, making it easier to reenter into our experiences and choose anew.

However, the second we choose to buy into who we are not is the second we get caught up, unable to see the forest through the trees- making it that much more difficult to change. It’s that simple.

Who You Are vs. Who You Are Not

Plus, to equate yourself with what you eat each day, a feeling or a painful past experience is ridiculous. It’s like saying, I am a banana, I am the anger I felt that once or I am the divorce I had ten years ago. It just doesn’t add up because it’s not based on truth.

You are so much more than all of the above. You are the power behind and the creator of them all.

So if you have the ability to create, you also have the ability to recreate as you continue to come into alignment with the life experience and trajectory you desire. This is the beauty of connecting with your experiences, you become able to bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be.


Now, we all mess up and make choices that we would not make again, given the option- but this is all part of it! Sometimes our creations work, other times they don’t- and the ones that don’t, can be looked at as untapped potential because they are. They incentivize growth, and the most can be learned here.

Plus, who’s to say that all of our mistakes, imperfections and painful experiences aren’t perfect in their own right? To say they aren’t is just another guilt perpetuating judgment, which simply does not move us forward or lead to change.

Now, to be clear, this does not mean that we have to like or want to repeat certain choices or relive particular past experiences, and it definitely does not take away from what we have been through- but if we have the courage to connect without getting caught up, our experiences will process through in a very different way.

In essence, it’s about making the most of your experiences by allowing them to give back.

The question becomes, who has who- do you have them or do they have you?

So for your overall health and sanity, feel free to cut the if I could have, would have and should haves and start tapping into what is within the present moment, where your power to choose resides.

Observe them, and you’ll turn them. 

In the present moment, you’ll find the space to observe your experiences by being where you are now rather than where the mind thinks you should be. Here, the light will be on, giving you the opportunity to look at your experiences with clarity rather than through the distorted lens of judgment, which would have you looking up or down but never directly at them.

By finally looking at our experiences, we can learn- and if we choose to give ourselves the space + grace to heal, we can begin to grow at an accelerated pace, with less friction and more ease, as we go with the flow and allow the healing process to work for and with rather than against us.

For more information, support and a tried and true springboard that can help you clear issues and put these principles into practice, feel free to check out our Free 7 Day Mind Body Reset. We would love to have you in there! This is the exact process I teach my patients and apply in my own life, and have seen time and time again become a catalyst for radiant health, freedom and a life lived true to you.