This letter is on control, relationship potential, and letting go.

Dear California,

Control is an illusion, and it’s a tricky one at that. The interesting thing about control is that it inevitably leads to a loss of control, which recycles itself back and forth over and over again. Never mind that what we attempt to control always ends up controlling us. It rules our thoughts, feelings, actions and trajectory until we learn how to truly let go, own our power and create for ourselves.

Now, it is one thing, to try to control the self, your own thoughts, feelings and life experiences (this still doesn’t work) but it’s another to try and control someone else. You see, we cannot create for another, and why would we even want to?

They must choose for themselves.

Easier said than done- but if this pattern is not addressed, it will drain your energy. You will become depleted, exhausted, and debilitated until you choose to focus on yourself, your creations and life experiences.

You see, we cannot create for another, and we can only work with what is- by focusing in on the reality of the situation. I have seen many people, including myself, fall in love with potential, falling into the trap of trying to control because deep down, we may lack faith, fear loss, scarcity or change.

And on top of these fears, if your partner is not receptive to growth, they will become resistant, stagnant and nearly impossible to be around- especially if you are a growth oriented person.

It’s one thing to bring an issue to light, to open up discussion, communicate and present a new perspective, idea or approach- but it’s another to try and control someone else’s choices. The former has the potential to heal and dissolve walls bringing you closer together while the latter, will often leave you feeling even more divided than before, preventing any chance of a solution.

As I mentioned, I’ve been here, as have so many of my patients. I’ve fallen in love with someone’s potential. I tried to change him. I exhausted myself in the process, and then I learned to let go.

I learned to look at the reality of the situation, the burden I had placed on myself, and ask the tough questions like, “who was I to try to change him?” When I’d rather change myself and experience anyways. In my particular case, it meant letting go of the relationship. In your case, it may mean simply letting go of a particular pattern, like the need to control. Either way, you will have to let go of how it is now because it is clearly not working.

And it’s not working because it’s trying to get your attention and set you free. It’s not working because a better, more empowered experience is trying to come in.



For more information, support and a tried and true springboard that can help you clear issues and put these principles into practice, feel free to check out the Let Go & Grow program. We would love to have you in there! This is the exact process I teach my patients and apply in my own life, and have seen time and time again become a catalyst for radiant health, freedom and a life lived true to you.