It’s amazing how we compromise ourselves and how in denial we can become of our own inner vision, goals and desires.
I see it everyday, people hardened by disappointment, rejection and a variety of past experiences holding themselves back from the life they are here to live and the power they are meant to have.
Let me give you an example. Jane walks into my office. She feels unfulfilled in her job, she has a hard time sleeping, dreads the day, resents her husband and has low energy and fatigue. Jane’s mind has told her that she can’t leave her job because the only other option is to start her own business, and this doesn’t feel right either. She likes the stability her job brings and does not want to risk going out on her own. She resents her husband because he owns his own company and flies by the seat of his pants. She has had to become the caretaker, left picking up the pieces and this has created frustration, anger and resentment toward him. She holds all of these feelings in, and it comes out in unexpected ways. These ways then go on to create a guilt cycle and now she is right back to where she started. Jane feels like there is something wrong with her, so she goes to her doctor. He prescribes her an antidepressant along with some sleep medication. She doesn’t feel right about this either but is willing to try anything to feel better despite the side effects. She receives some relief for a couple of weeks but then returns back to where she started, feeling hopeless, alone and completely compromised. She knows within her heart there is something missing, and there is still a voice inside of her, saying, “Hey Jane, keep your head up, keep searching and see what you find…”
So Jane searches google, finds my website and decides to give me a chance.
When she comes into my office, I smile, welcome her into the session and learn about her experiences. As she is sharing her story, tears well up. She hasn’t cried in years, and I know in my heart that everything she has been going through is an opportunity for some serious growth. All I see within Jane is untapped potential, and it becomes my job to teach her how to actualize it.
Where to begin?
Now before I begin, I have to set a foundation and create a new framework for Jane and I to work within. This process and beyond can be found within the Let Go & Grow program.
Once we have gone over the relevant fundamentals, it’s important that I challenge Jane’s assumptions to increase awareness around what is possible. For example, when Jane first steps into my office she feels trapped, like she can’t move forward, and believes that…
- She can’t be fulfilled in her job unless she puts herself at risk.
- She has to take care of her husband or everything will fall apart.
- She can’t have great a great mood, energy and sleep without side effects.
However, none of the beliefs above are actually working for her and all of the beliefs above are compromising her. So what does Jane have yet to learn? Why has she bought into the beliefs above?
Jane has yet to learn how to opt out of the mind’s limitations, open up to what is possible and create her own reality based on what feels true to her. Why? Because up until this point, she has not had a foundation and a process to clear the issues, like compromise, that have blocked her from entering into her power and the life she desires.
So I ask Jane, if you could transform your life experience, what would change?
At this point, the struggle becomes even more evident, as she negotiates with her life and says something like this, “Brooke, if I could feel healthy and energized, I would be fine with a broken relationship.” or “If I could let go of this anger and resentment, I would be fine feeling unfulfilled in my job.”
With that, I reply, “Jane you don’t have to choose between options, you can have it all. It’s time to drop the negotiation, the coping and the compromise and just see where you land. It’s more than okay to want health, energy, fulfillment, stability, balance within your relationship and joy. You don’t have to pick and choose. It can be a complete win-win.”
Now, I see her eyes light up as new answers come in, and we continue on with the session.
At the end of the session, I ask Jane to continue to open up to the possibilities and get clear on what she would like to create and experience. I also ask her to challenge her own assumptions as they come up and to begin to change her perspective in real time.
After the session, she writes me an email letting me know that her inclinations have changed naturally, and to her surprise, she is making more courageous choices. Realizations keep popping up! And she feels lighter and more able to re-enter into her current life experiences in a new and empowered way. Things are changing, and she no longer feels stuck.
Most of us limit ourselves on a daily basis. We avoid, bury and divide ourselves from our own goals, dreams and desires as a way to protect ourselves and justify the choices we know in our hearts are not working. We do this by leaving issues unaddressed and by buying into our limiting beliefs, excuses, explanations, and reason. In this, we not only resist our heart’s desires, we resist ourselves. Here, we often allow our minds to run the show, unconsciously choosing stagnation over growth, struggle over freedom and disease over health, in all areas of our lives.
In my work, I have found that one of the most courageous choices an individual can make is simply to become receptive and willing to “go there”, to open up to new truths and to challenge the mind’s assumptions.
When you become aware of how you compromise yourself and choose to allow an uncompromised vision to emerge and lead the way, you will inevitably begin to let go and grow as your choices change, fears fade and alignment sets in.
For now, I invite you to ask yourself these questions.
- How are you blocking a new perspective from coming in?
- What assumptions can you challenge and change?
- Without judgment, how do you want to experience your life?
- Are your choices mapping to your goals, dreams and desires?
Once you have taken the time to reflect on these questions, I encourage you to simply begin to open up, bridge the gap and take the first steps to bringing these experiences into your reality.
For more information, support and a tried and true springboard, check out the Let Go & Grow program. I have found, personally and professionally, guidance of this kind to be very powerful.